americanninjax:

floozys:

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inspired by x

I have no idea what I was expecting from that picture but it wasn’t this. And it’s glorious

basedheisenberg:

Being drunk does not excuse cheating.

Being drunk does not excuse rape.

Being drunk does not excuse being an asshole.

Being drunk does not excuse shitty and destructive behavior.

Being drunk is not an excuse.

Control yourself or don’t drink.

australian-government:

I hate when people ask questions during movies like do you not understand that the movie purposly doesn’t tell you things in order to build suspense

somenerdygirl:

pantskitton:

spains-a-total-uke:

When I was little, I used to think it was silly that they put the “external use only” label on bottles because no one would want to eat a bottle of aloe vera, but after reading fanfiction, I know who those warnings are meant for

UNTIL I READ THIS I GENUINELY STILL THOUGHT THAT THE PURPOSE OF THOSE LABELS WAS TO STOP PEOPLE EATING THE PRODUCT

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sassybabushka:

My friend knows someone who keeps all her money in a  hollow dildo. If you don’t think that’s genius, just imagine a robber stealing from a teenage girl’s room. Is he going to look in the dildo? Is he even going to want to touch the dildo?? No. A hollow dildo is safer than any safe or lock. 

Be safe, kids. Keep your money in a dildo.